Dedication
I would like to dedicate this book to the memory of my dear wife, June, who stood faithfully by my side for forty years, two months, twelve days, fourteen hours and thirty-five minutes.
She, indeed, was a light to my path, as well as to our daughters, Teri, Viki, Brandy and Tammy.
I pray daily for our daughters, and anxiously await for us all to be together with Jesus.
Just John
CONTENTS
1 Early Background 3
2 A Strict Upbringing 9
3 Discipline 12
4 Alcohol not the Answer 16
5 New Job – Unchanged Heart 20
6 Big Time Busted 23
7 Hell’s Bar-B-Q Pit & My Conversion 26
8 Convincing my Friends 32
9 I make Bond – Mother-in-Law Saved 36
10 Finishing up my Time 41
11 Free from Prison 50
12 Personal Assurance 55
13 A Precious Family Great Friends 60
14 A Special Word Just for You 68
A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO JUNE 70
A letter of tribute to my dad and mom 76
FORWARD
I first met John at Frankfort Pilgrim High School. Our missionary family had just returned from South Africa, so I was into my own world of trying to learn the American way of life. I missed a lot in the forming of the early relationship.
John’s father taught the Biology class in this small Christian High School in Frankfort, Indiana, where I attended. I found his father to be a fascinating teacher. He was more interested in capturing the heart of his pupils rather than mere academic achievement.
I also knew his siblings, since both his family and mine attended the Frankfort First Pilgrim Holiness Church, (now Wesleyan).
I find John anxious to demonstrate his growing loyalty to Christ as he seeks me out from time to time. This ends up in opportunities like the one before me, helping to edit this manuscript.
In doing so, I have attempted to retain his style of writing, while helping to clarify some of the points. I find great joy in seeing Jesus at work drawing people to Himself through him! As we draw near to Christ, we become like Him. It is then that we see those around us being drawn to Him as well. This gives us opportunities to share His work!
Your story and mine, though not exactly like John’s, will show you how much He loves you. You will find yourself here. I did! He invites you to follow Him.
Having a great need of the love of Jesus, I have a growing conviction that I need to focus my ministry on the deeper needs of people, I welcome this opportunity to invite people to hear John’s testimony.
John’s stories are real. I saw some of his struggle first hand. He is living proof that Jesus still saves!
Paul D. Wilson
Redford, Michigan
Chapter 1
Early Background
I was born on August 5, 1941. I don’t remember much about my childhood. I was an average boy for my time. We didn’t have much, so we had to do with what we had. I had one brother and three sisters, Ruth, Shirley and Margaret. David was my brother. My dad worked for a Federal Prison in Chillicothe, Ohio. My mother was a registered nurse.
The first real memory that stuck with me through these years was when I was in Kindergarten. I came home all excited about Christmas, because this little fat man was coming to our house to leave us some toys. He would arrive sometime between bed time and awakening time. He had a big sleigh with bags and bags of toys for all girls and boys. He had eight reindeer to pull that sleigh. These deer could fly through the air, from the ground to your roof in just seconds.
Santa, the little fat man, with a red snow suit would grab a bag of toys and come down our chimney with that bag of toys, spread those toys under our Christmas tree, then come back up our chimney and go to the next house to do the same. After he was through, he would fly through the air in his sleigh and yell to the top of his voice, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
The reindeer were named Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen, not to forget Rudolph, the one with the red nose, leader of them all.
This little five year old boy remembered all of that, and couldn’t wait to get home to tell his dad and mom all about Christmas. “Thank you God for a dad and mom who loved You, believed in You, and took the time to explain to their 5 year old son, the real meaning of Christmas.
“Though I strayed for many years, the memory of Christmas never left me. I know who Jesus is, and how He came to earth as a baby, just for me, because I am important to Him.
“Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me and others like me. “To you I owe more than I could ever pay. Truly you are a great, kind, loving, caring Father. I love you, God, my life is for you. My life is about you. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. Amen.”
My dad and mom sat me down at the table and proceeded to tell me the true meaning of Christmas. It was about Jesus and Who He really is. Jesus was up in heaven. He had everything a boy could want. His Father had wealth beyond measure. One day his Father came to him with a plan. You see God’s laws were too strict for man, and we were always breaking them. Although God could have continually created good, clean, spotless animals, He saw a need for a different sacrifice, so he sent His one and only son, Jesus, to be our sacrifice.
Jesus was the one born on what we know as Christmas day, December 25th, (or whenever it was!) The fact is that Jesus gave up everything to come live with us, and be a part of our world. The dad and mom God chose to be his parents were not wealthy by a long shot.
Joseph, his dad, was a carpenter. Mary, his mom, was just the wife of Joseph and the mother of Jesus. They couldn’t afford a nice motel room, so they stayed in a barn in back of the motel, because there were no rooms left.
Jesus was born that night, in a barn, in back of the motel. They laid Him in a manger. His mattress was straw. They wrapped him in blankets and laid him in this manger.
He could have asked for rich parents, but he didn’t. He allowed himself to be born in poverty, because he loved us. He came into the world, so the world could know Him, and receive eternal life. Wow what a great Jesus He is.
“Jesus, thank You for what you have done for us! Oh how much you must love us! Jesus, I found it impossible at times to comprehend this, until You began to help me see that when others condemn us for our past mistakes and failures, you use them to make the message of your love even clearer. You don’t condemn. ‘You forgive and forget’. Your coming to earth for me means a lot to me, and can be pictured as the Good Shepherd leading in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Now I know I am important. Your coming to earth means that I, John Willhelm, get to live for you now, and I get to go to heaven when I die.”
“I’m probably the worst sinner you’ve ever had to deal with, yet You in Your great love, have forgiven me, and set me free from the chains of sin. For this I owe you much. Make my life beam for you. May others see you in me always! Amen.”
No way did this ruin Christmas for me. In fact it made Christmas even brighter for me. I loved Christmas because it was a time of giving. There were kids who were really poor. This was a time when I could share with them and help to make their world a brighter place.
I knew who Jesus was, what He is today, and I loved Him very deeply as a child. I never feared much of anything, because Jesus was watching over me, and would keep me from any harm. I knew all along that reindeer could not fly. Now I knew who Jesus is, and that He is for real.
A few months later, I came home, once again all excited, because on Friday a big rabbit was coming to our school to lay a bunch of different colored eggs. After school we could go out and find these eggs, and candy too. I couldn’t wait to tell my dad and mom about this. I was so excited. When I explained this to them, they sat me down and explained the true meaning of Easter to me. What a great dad and mom I had. They were truthful to me in all ways.
They explained, “You see Jesus, after about thirty-three years of age, doing good. He healed blind people, and they were able to see again. He healed those who couldn’t walk, and enabled them to walk again. Some had never walked in their life, and Jesus made them walk. He raised people from the dead. He saved people from their sins. He made bad people good. He was really a wonderful person. He is a very compassionate Jesus, quick to forgive, and set the captive free.
“He had never sinned, not even once. He was tempted, yes, in all ways, yet he never sinned. Yet the religious leaders couldn’t stand him, so they plotted to destroy Him. They had him arrested. They tried Him in a court of law. They convicted Him of blasphemy because He dared to call Himself the Son of God.
“Then they nailed Him to a cross, hung Him to die, cursed Him, beat Him, threw rocks at Him, and there He hung until He died. When He had been officially declared dead, a man named Joseph of Arimathea came to Pilate, and asked for His body. He took the body of Jesus, wrapped Him in grave clothes, then placed him in an unused tomb.
“People told Pilate that he should set a watch over his tomb, because Jesus had claimed he would come back to life in three days. Pilate sent several of His officers to place a seal on the door of the tomb, and to stand over it until the three days were over. This way no one could steal His body and claim Him alive when He was in fact, truly dead.
“This didn’t alter God’s plan for even one second, because in three days, right at daylight, Jesus came back to life, and rolled the stone away. The guards fainted because they were afraid.
“Jesus walked out of that tomb, alive and well, and He still lives today. He took with Him the keys to death and hell, and He still has them today.”
“Thank You God for what you did on that great day! I, for one, really appreciate it! ‘How you did it, I don’t know. I know you did it, and that’s all that matters! I know Jesus lives today because He lives within my heart, my life, my very being. Because You live, I now really live!’ This in no way ruined Easter for me. In fact, it made my life much brighter, because I knew Jesus was, and is alive!”
I was too young to understand much about life. I hadn’t, yet, had to deal with death. I just knew that I would live forever.
My mother’s dad had passed away just before Christmas. I really missed him. He was a great person, and a wonderful grandpa. I began to understand that my grandpa was alive. He was just in another place where I couldn’t see him. Yet someday I would rejoin him in a much better place. We would then never be separated again by death. Sorrow would have no place there. This made my world a much happier place because Jesus lives, my grandpa lives.
“Thank you Jesus for the promise that You have gone to your Father’s place, where there are many mansions. “You have gone to prepare a place for us. When our place is ready, You will come get us, and take us to this place you have prepared for us. “Then we will be with you forever. How great You are! Thank You! I love You. Amen.”
Chapter 2
A Strict Upbringing
Things didn’t always stay so bright for me. We attended church every week. I loved church and the people in the church. They were all great. In about 1951 we got a new pastor. They were really very strict. There weren’t too many televisions around yet, but radio was taboo. We weren’t allowed to listen to the radio any more, and definitely no television. We had to wear long-sleeved shirts, button the collars, no rings, no watches, knee high socks, no ties, no pins with shiny clips. The girls had to have long hair, long cotton socks, long dresses, no makeup at all.
By this time I was getting into sports, and especially swimming. This was a no-no. No sports of any kind, no swimming. This was called mixed bathing. What a drag.
Initially, I may have been able to put up with some of these kinds of things, but when my dad was told he needed to stop eating pickled pig’s feet – something I really enjoyed eating with him – he just did it without question. That meant he probably did not understand how that action might affect me. But to me, you see, that was the last straw, so I just gave up! My heart told me that I had lost the only one that really understood me. I had lost my dad!
You see, neither dad nor I understood how dark the human heart can be. This is the way it was in the Bible record of when the Israelites wanted to be free of the slavery in Egypt. God exposed them to his laws to teach them just how much the devil had been misusing them. The laws were meant to demonstrate how sinful and diseased their hearts had become, but also how perfect and loving Jesus really was.
God’s laws were not meant to intimidate people and bring them under another person’s control because of fear. (Romans 8:15, 21)
Think of it in the medical world. Doctors may seem intimidating because of what they know, but most of us appreciate doctors who know what they are doing when we are really sick. It is amazing how little it takes to bring healing, when we understand a little of what is going on! (Mark 6:56)
God loves people who have wandered far from him, and in the end actually helps while the Good News of God’s love on the cross is shared.
To say it another way, this means that pig’s meat can be alright if you understand pigs, and how God can clean up a pig. (Acts 10:15)
All my heart heard was that we could no longer eat animals that had split hoofs. This meant that dad and I couldn’t even enjoy beans, cornbread and ham hocks any more! They said we had to quit because the body was God’s temple.
They even said that when we sat around a fire eating peanut butter and honey, that it looked like those who would drink, smoke and tell dirty stories while sitting around a wood fire.
When I tried to understand, it only got worse. Soon they were requiring me to address my dad as “Sir”, and my mom as “Ma’am”!
I began to lose all interest in God. When that started to happen, every time I would make a mistake, it was always, “God is going to get you for that!”
I got to where I didn’t like God any more. I felt like He was a mean God, just waiting for me to mess up, so He could punish me. I started making excuses for not wanting to attend church. Maybe I would go, sneak out, and sneak back in before church was over. I would listen to the text, slip out, and get back in time for closing comments. This worked for quite a while. Finally I just told my dad and mom that I didn’t care what they thought. I just wasn’t interested in God or church any more, and I wasn’t going to go.
We had several meetings with the “board of education”, but that had no effect. I didn’t like God any more. I felt like He had taken my dad and mom away from me. I no longer lived. I existed. I blamed God for all of this, and so no longer wanted His company. I could get along just fine without Him.
Chapter 3
Discipline
I soon became a teenager and started working. I would always volunteer to work on Sunday so that I would not be bothered with church. My dad and mom stayed faithful to God. They continued to pray for me, and they lived for Jesus in front of me during those years of running. They were my bible.
My sister, Shirley, tried very hard to win me back to God’s way, but I wouldn’t listen then. We have a sister, Ruth, who had polio as a child. This left her crippled. This pastor told my dad and mom that Ruth was demon-possessed. This really angered me.
Ruth was a very special sister, and still is today. She is the sweetest, kindest girl you could ever meet. She would go hungry to make sure you were fed. Ruth has been a great inspiration to me. She always has a pleasant smile, and there is always a song in her heart. She can still bring heaven down to you with her singing. I love her dearly.
Shirley and Ruth defended me many times, even though I was wrong. They would get on me, but if you would dare to get on me, you would certainly hear from them!
Margaret, my baby sister, always has, and will always be my “buddie”. We were very close as children, and we are very close to this day. She has been faithful to stand by me through all of my faults. She has been my friend. Today she is a wonderful lady, and she is still my “baby sister”!
David, my older brother and I, were friends, but like typical brothers, didn’t always get along. Yet, if I ever needed him, he was always there for me.
By now I had started smoking. I ran with a crowd that thought smoking was “in”. I wanted to be “in”, so I started smoking. Cigarettes were only .20¢ a pack when I was a teenager. However, if you didn’t have the twenty cents, it was a lot of money! Sometimes I would cut grass for twenty-five cents, in order to get my cigarettes.
Then I learned a new trick with the cigarette machine. I would drop in a quarter, hit the coin return, and pull the handle for the cigarettes all at the same time. Not only would the quarter be returned, but also a pack of cigarettes. This, of course, was stealing. At this stage of my life I didn’t care. We would rob cigarette machines and then go to a soda pop chest, pry off the lid of the soda, put a straw in the bottle, and drink the pop. We didn’t look at it as stealing, just a form of getting a free soda pop. Unfortunately we did not care that someone else had to pay for it.
Well, this soon led to other forms of stealing. Soon I became a pretty good thief. I would lie to cover up my stealing habit. I did not think of who might get hurt, and really didn’t care.
Dad and mom didn’t know what to do with me. They prayed for me every morning, noon and night. My sister, Shirley would have long talks with me, but it didn’t sink in.
Every year we would go to Florida for vacation. We would go to Hobe Sound, Florida.
They had a Church Camp Meeting there in February of each year. People would come from all around for the two week encampment.
I liked the idea of going down to Florida. I didn’t care about the church meetings, however: 10:00 a.m. church; 2 p.m. church; 7 p.m. church. This would go on every day for two weeks. It was very boring to me, because I would not allow myself to become a part of God’s family.
One evening an evangelist was speaking at this camp meeting. He stopped speaking for a moment, then looked at the congregation and asked if we were in a camp meeting or a funeral for some dear departed soul. Everyone seemed so down, sad, and quiet.
Then he stated that what we needed was a good, old fashioned, soul-stirring fire. This fire would wake everybody up, making them move by building a fire under their tail. I remember what the evangelist said that night quite well. I now also understand that he was quite right.
The next afternoon I was down by the canal, in the back of the camp ground. I was smoking. I didn’t put the match out. In a matter of seconds we had a fire! Church was cancelled. People were pouring water on the fire. The fire department was called. Everybody was excited. Many souls were stirred that afternoon. We had a good, old fashioned, soul-stirring fire. Two and one half acres were burned in a matter of minutes. But, this was not the kind of fire the evangelist was talking about.
The next evening the evangelist talked to me. Many of the people were upset at me. Some wanted my dad and mom to take me and leave. Not many people took that lightly. The evangelist, Reverend Griffeth, became my friend. When he got up to speak that next evening, he told the people not to condemn me, but to be my friend, and love me to Jesus.
He then reminded them of his sermon a couple of nights previously, and then laughed as he stated that we “got our fire”, and there were many souls stirred. A few of the people relaxed and took it in stride. Some still wanted us to leave, but dad and mom stayed until the end of camp.
Our home church really shunned me. The youth of our church were told to stay away from me, which they did. I didn’t care. I had a lot of “out-of-church” friends. They thought I was really cool. I didn’t need those Christians around me anyway. I could make it through life without them.
Chapter 4
Alcohol not the Answer
Soon after that, I just flat refused to go to church at all. I was too wrapped up in my own world, doing what I thought was my own thing, not caring about God.
Then I started drinking. I just took a dive into alcohol. I would drink morning, noon and night. I would drink to anything. I didn’t need a reason to drink. I just drank alcohol because I liked to drink. I don’t think I was an alcoholic right away, but before long I did become one.
I got married in 1961. From that marriage we had three children, Joe, Sonja and Dennis. Our marriage went to the divorce court in 1966. My wife couldn’t handle the drinking and running around. I ended up in a state hospital, but they couldn’t help me. I left there without permission, so I was being sought by the law.
I went to Chicago, and there tried to start a new and better life for myself.
Alcohol had a pretty good control over me by now. I just couldn’t leave it alone. Sleeping in cheap hotels, or wherever, became a prominent part of my life. I didn’t care where I slept. I didn’t care if I ate or not. As long as I had my booze to drink, everything else would be okay. I ended up at the Salvation Army. They fed me, and kept me. They prayed for me and tried to help me get my life back in order, but I wouldn’t let them help.
I kind-of got myself together, found a good job in a shoe store. Soon I became a #1 salesman. I made good money, but I blew it all on alcohol.
It was then that I met June, my wife. We soon fell in love, and were married. June was Catholic, but that didn’t matter, because I knew she loved me! I thought I had God figured out, when I thought He was letting me by, “because people could be Catholic and drink as well”.
However, my heart betrayed me, and I became very abusive to June. I didn’t know how to treat her. I didn’t even know how to act like a gentleman around her.
My thinking was, “This is a ‘dog-eat-dog’ world. If you don’t eat, you will be eaten. I truly lived by that motto for many years.
Soon I learned how to drive a truck. I worked for a trucking company in Chicago, Illinois. It was day time work, home every night. It was a good job, and good money. By now I was really an alcoholic. You would never see me without my beer. I paid my bills, fed my family, but I drank every day of my life.
Then came the drugs. Almost every truck driver took black beauties. They called them “West Coast Turn-Arounds”. Soon drugs became part of my life. I was convinced in my heart that I wasn’t an alcoholic, or a drug addict. I supported my family, paid my bills, and worked every day.
“Alcoholics don’t work! Drug addicts don’t work!” If you would ask me, that is what I would tell you. At least this is what I thought.
When our first daughter was born, I became really frightened. I didn’t like my life, or what I had become. I surely didn’t want our daughter to be like me when she grew up. I would come home from work, put my cigarettes away, brush my teeth, wash up. I would get all of the signs of smoke off of me. I knew of a better standard! I would then pick up Teri, our daughter, sing gospel music to her, and rock her to sleep.
I would then hit the corner bar. I would drink till midnight, come home, go to bed and sleep it off. I would then get up in the morning, go to work, and do the same thing all over again. This was my life every day I lived. I smoked, drank, and took drugs.
After Teri was born, I started taking her to church. Every Sunday morning and Sunday night I was in church with Teri. I read the Bible to Teri every night. I would rock her to sleep, singing Gospel music to her. I wanted her to grow up and be like her grandmother, not like me.
Dad and mom didn’t send me to church, they took me to church. They were human, and made their mistakes. However, they loved God, and we worshiped Him together as a family. The Bible doesn’t say our children will not stray, but it says we will not get away from our roots.
I ran from God, yet everyday I would think about my home, family altar, and church. I couldn’t get away from God. I would see a Wesleyan Church, or Church of the Nazarene, and remember where I came from.
I would go to a restaurant to eat, and someone would come in to eat. They would pray before their meal, and once again I was reminded of where I had come from. You cannot run from God. He will always be there to remind you of His love for you. He will not force us to love Him. That is our choice. He wants us to love Him and serve Him, because we want to!
“Thank you God for always being there to remind us of who we are, what we are, where we came from, and where we should be in our standing with You. Thank you for the promise you gave to parents concerning the training of their children in the way they should go, so that when they were old they would not depart.
“Awake the sleeping parents of today. Help them to see the need to teach their children Your ways. Also, help us to remember that we are our only children’s Bible. They look to us for guidance. May we always be mindful of that, and lead our children to You. Thank you for our children! We love them dearly! Please help us teach them your love, and love for their fellow man. Amen.”
Chapter 5
New Job
Unchanged Heart
In 1972, we moved from Chicago, Illinois to New Smyrna Beach, Florida. There I landed a job with a rather large trucking company, over the road. The money was good, but I had to run hard!
I got to be home a couple days a week on the average. Yet, when the busy season would arrive, we ran back to back.
Many times through our busy season I would live in my truck two or three months, stopping long enough to sleep a couple of hours here and there.
I would sometimes drive for a week without ever going to bed. I would sleep behind the steering wheel. I would catch a couple of hours here and there, while being loaded or unloaded. I would be so tired that I had to take pills to keep me awake. I took two black beauties in the morning and two at night.
Black beauties are a speed capsule that make your heart beat faster, making your blood circulate quicker, putting you on a high. They were expensive, so I would buy a large bottle and sell them for double what I paid. That way I could well afford the habit I had. I didn't consider this a drug. It was a speed capsule to help me stay awake. Therefore I was not a drug addict, or so I thought. Then when I did have time to sleep, I couldn't, because the speed tablets were working full time in my system. I would drink beer to slow me down and relax me, in order to allow me some sleep time.
I could never get a full night's rest in the bunk. This was not only unwise, but was very dangerous. Unfortunately, I could not see it at the time. All I could see was making money so that we could live like kings. Well, that didn't work! Instead we lived from pay check to pay check, which was not at all like a king! June stayed with me through all of this. Dad and mom prayed for me, and somehow managed to love me in spite of my downfalls. Alcohol was nothing new to me. I really knew and saw that I was an alcoholic, even before drugs became a part of my life. I couldn't see at the time that my idea of being an alcoholic could easily have been pictured as someone who would not work, and would beg for a dime for some coffee in order to buy another drink. For example, I remembered when I left the State Hospital without permission. I went to downtown Chicago, right down to Madison Street. I went right down to Fullerton Avenue. I stayed in cheap hotels, and begged for food. It’s like I would get your money and buy beer instead of food. That to me was the picture of an alcoholic! But, now I was married. I had a daughter. I paid my bills and kept food on the table. I would say to myself that this is not the way an alcoholic would do. So I thought! I drank every day, but felt that as long as I paid my bills, and supported my family, I was okay. I didn't think I was a drug addict, since I didn't do acid, snort coke, or smoke a joint. Once in a while I would smoke a joint, but I did not want or crave it that much.
Black beauties were my thing, I lived for them! I would really get down without them. They were what I just had to have! I've heard people say that they take a handful of pills every six hours. That's not my story. I took four black beauties every day of my life. I was hooked on them! I also drank close to a case of beer every day of my life. I smoked three packs of cigarettes every day of my life. I took four black beauties every day of my life. I was hooked! I thought I was going to hell, and nothing could stop me. When I was drunk and high, it really didn't bother me that much. But if I sobered up, it wouldn't take long for me to get worried! I would find any excuse I could to stay out and drink, not really thinking or caring who it hurt.
I called my wife, June, on the phone one time. I told her that some of the guys at work had forced me into their car. They had driven me somewhere on the south side of Chicago. I did not know where I was. They made me drink with them. After several drinks I walked out, caught a bus back to work, and got my car. I told her I would soon be home. When I got home, June was frightened, worried, and crying. She hugged me and cried. She was really frightened!
I really should have been whipped for that one! It was really bad for me to scare her like that. Unfortunately, alcoholics don’t think straight, and they do dumb things!
“Thank you God for keeping your hand on me during those dark times of my life! Thank you for protecting me from death many times. Thank you for a wife who managed to stick by me, and for praying parents who wouldn’t give up. What an awesome God you really are! I love you! Amen!”
Chapter 6
Big Time Busted
As you can see, God was still working in my heart! I began to realize that Dad and mom were getting older and could no longer keep up with things that needed to be done around the house. So, in 1974, we moved from Florida back to Indiana. I took a job with a trucking company that got me home most weekends. That way I was able to help with my talents around the home.
I loved my parents, my brother and sisters, my wife, and daughter Teri. In September of 1977, we had another daughter, who we named Viki, and was I ever excited about Viki! I took her to church when I was home, but drugs and alcohol had really taken their toll on me. I was hooked! When Viki was about one month old, I was arrested, “big time busted”! I was looking fifty years in the eye. I posted bond, and for the next year I was in and out of court for my hearings.
I took more drugs than ever during that year, and drank “like a fish” in order to stay high and numb, so I would not be so frightened.
I knew I was going to prison with a load of time. I had all kinds of pills at the time of my bust. I had enough to get me through every bit of that fifty years, plus more. In November of 1977, I got my sentence for fifteen years. If I behaved myself, I would only have to do seven and one-half years of the fifteen. I was relieved that all I got was fifteen years, but was uncertain of what adjustments I would have to make in my life in order to survive the next seven and one-half years.
I soon learned that prison wasn’t anything like I had seen in the movies. It was a different world! On the outside you can borrow money from a friend, and not pay your debt. They may take you to court, but probably wouldn’t kill you over it. However, in prison, if you borrowed a cup of coffee, or a pack of cigarettes, you had better pay it back, or you could die for it.
One man in prison was killed over a jar of coffee which at that time cost about $2.00! Men have been killed over one pack of cigarettes. At that time they sold for about .35¢ a pack. A lot of men in there were doing “Life” plus! They wouldn’t ever get out, so what did they have to lose! They would kill you over nothing, and go on with their lives as if nothing had even happened – no feelings at all!
I knew right away that this wasn’t my idea of life. I just wanted to get my time served, get out, and get on with life. The sooner the better! I have seen a lot of horror movies in my life. This was no movie! This was the real thing. It was hell on earth.
You had to watch your back. You never knew what would happen next. You knew sooner or later it would! You soon learned to mind your own business, and not worry about anyone else. Otherwise, you might be the next one!
One morning, as I was leaving my cell for my work assignment, several inmates came into the cell right next to me. They beat a man almost unconscious, and then left. I ran back into my cell. My heart was racing triple time! After they left, I checked on him. He was bleeding badly. I knew he was in serious condition. I heard later that he owed a drug debt that he couldn’t pay. They busted him up! I told the range tender to look in on him. I then went back to my work assignment. I was frightened for several days that they would come after me next. They knew that I had seen them. They also knew that if I told what I had seen, they would be in for a lot of trouble. The man was hurt badly. He was in the hospital for quite a while. I didn’t say anything more. It soon was history.
Prison is without doubt a horrible place. It is without doubt the worst place I have ever been in. I knew that when I got out of prison I would never do anything to put me back into a place like that. I would die of hunger first!
Chapter 7
Hell’s Bar-B-Q Pit
And My Conversion
On Sunday, March 11, 1979, I found myself in our prison chapel. Why I went, I will never know. I was depressed to the point of suicide. I was tired of drugs. I was tired of alcohol. I was tired of everything. I said to myself, “Why not just end it all!” Everyone, including myself, would be much better off if I were completely out of the picture. Surely this would be the best for all concerned. Why not?
What am I doing here in this chapel, listening to this evangelist tell me about Jesus and God’s love to all? Ha! What a joke! God doesn’t love people like me! God only loves good people, and you can see that I am not one of those good people! I wasn’t in prison for being good or doing things that were right. I was there because I was wrong. I did many bad things, and if justice were really served, I should be given life without parole.
The evangelist was a Baptist pastor from Gary, Indiana. He was talking about hell’s bar-b-q pit. He told of how Satan had prepared this big bar-b-q pit for us, and that he was basting us down for that horrible place.
He pointed out to us that Satan didn’t even like us. He would give us bad ideas, then prompt us to do them. Then, as if God didn’t know, Satan would make sure God knew.
Have you ever had a brother, sister, or maybe a friend tell you to do something that was wrong? Even though you knew it was wrong, you did it anyway! Then your brother, sister, or friend told on you, and you got into all kinds of trouble. Do you remember how you felt when you got caught, and then found out that they had told on you?
It was their idea, and they told you to do it. You did it, they told on you, and then you were the one to get into trouble! I remembered things like that. I didn’t like it. I did my best to get even with them for what they had done.
Nobody likes a snitch, or a person who tells all they know. I have seen men in prison beaten badly for snitching.
The evangelist pointed this out to us, and then asked us why we were serving a snitch. What did he mean by that? I wasn’t serving a snitch! But he showed me that I was serving a snitch! In our lives, God has given us two choices – either to serve Him, or to serve Satan.
I thought about that for a while and concluded that Satan, the accuser, was working in my heart, giving me bad ideas and then prompting me to do them. Then, when I did them, he would go and accuse me before God. Then I was the one that had to suffer the punishment for my wrongful deeds!
Well, when I saw that, I was angry at Satan!
“I’ll fix you for that, you ole devil”, I thought.
How do you fix the devil? How can you hurt him?
If you ask Jesus Christ into your life, you will tear the devil up. You then take your life from the clutches of a mean, hateful, back-stabbing, cruel Satan, as well as place your life into the hands of a kind, loving and caring God, the One who allowed His Son, His only son, Jesus, to come into this world, in order to live among us. The One who did no wrong, yet died on the cross for us, in order to pay our debt.
If we come to Jesus, and repent of our sins, He will forgive us. He will wash us with His blood and make us whiter than snow. John 3:16
“W.O.W. That’s some heavy duty stuff, but that cannot mean me!” I’ve really done some mean things in my life. Church people would not want to hang around with the likes of me. I’m too bad! I’ve done too many wrong things for God to forgive me!
But, wait now. Look at John 3:17
People may want nothing to do with me at all, but Jesus wants to be my friend, my Savior, a big part of my life! W.O.W. “This is far out, man. I mean, look at me. Look at all the bad things that I have done.” Christian people do not want anything to do with me at all, but Jesus loves me and wants to be a part of my life.
He didn’t condemn me for what I had done. He came to forgive me for all my sins. He set me free from drugs, alcohol, and everything that had my life bound up. He came that I might “have life”, (John 10:10), and to free me from all things that had me so bound up.
I mean, this is really neat, man! God – the Creator of Heaven and earth, and all things in his world, loves me, and wants me to turn from my wicked ways, and start to follow Him. This was hard for me to believe. I felt really low down. I felt like I was the very worst sinner that he had on earth.
When the evangelist gave an invitation, I didn’t get up out of my seat to come forward. I couldn’t bring myself to that just yet. But, in my seat, I began to talk to God.
I had forgotten the way that I had been taught to pray! “Our God and our Father, Creator of heaven and earth, and all things therein. Thou knowest I am a sinner, lost and headed for hell!”
That was not my prayer! My prayer was straight from me to God!
“God, dig this here man, I’m lost. I am dying in my sins. I need your help! God, I’ve got to be honest with you. I like to do drugs, drink and smoke. I really don’t want to quit. It makes me feel good, like I’m on top of everything. But, you said these things would destroy my body, and send me to hell. I don’t want to go to hell. You said you weren’t willing for me to perish. You wanted me to come to you. If you really mean that, Jesus, please help me! Please Jesus, Please - - - - help me!”
I began to cry. I couldn’t stop the tears. I felt a peace that I had never felt before in my life. Jesus had entered my life that Sunday morning, March 11, 1979!
I didn’t care about anything. I just knew in my heart I was saved. I knew that the chains of drugs, alcohol, and all my chains were broken that morning, and now I was free, and I mean, really free! I was still confined behind walls and bars, but my spirit was free!
Yes, you can get drugs in prison. You can make whiskey in prison. But, I no longer craved that stuff. I just wanted to know all I could about God and his son, Jesus.
I found a Bible in the trash can. It was just a plain Bible. I began to read it, mark it, and color it. It was my own reference Bible. I still have that Bible. I get into it every once in a while. I enjoy studying the notes I made when I first found it. I couldn’t wait to tell my friends. I went back to my cell and wrote a poem called, “The Devil’s bar-b-q pit”.
THE DEVIL’S BAR-B-Q PIT
Written on 03-11-1979 by John Willhelm
Thank you dear God – for the service today,
For it really helped me – in many a way!
For the devil is slick – and he’ll have a fit,
If he can’t get me tricked – in his bar-b-q pit.
My mind was confused – my body abused,
I felt like, Oh God – that I had been used!
The devil would lie – as in church I would sit,
To get me enticed – in his bar-b-q pit.
The devil was saying – to do myself in.
But I knew all along – that it really was sin!
But in church this morning – it finally did hit,
That the devil was basting me – for his bar-b-q pit.
So this morning I surrendered – to God’s holy power,
And He’s lifted me higher – than any earth tower!
The devil, he’s mad now – and having a fit,
For he lost a prime prospect – for his bar-b-q pit.
Chapter 8
Convincing My Friends
I decided that the only way I could really fix the devil was to convince my friends that Jesus was really the answer. I knew in my heart that if I would tell them about Jesus, some of them would listen to me, and allow me to introduce them to Jesus. And, sure enough, many of them did. I still tell my friends on drugs, or those into alcohol, that Jesus is the only answer.
You see, when you get high on drugs, it feels good at the time, but it is only temporary. You come down, and your problems are still there, waiting on you. When you get drunk, you lose control, and at that time, you don’t care. You keep on drinking. You pass out. You wake up a few hours later, with a big head-ache. Your body aches all over. Your stomach is upset. You are sick all over.
Your problems are still there, so you go back and do it again, and again, and again, but it does not help you one bit! You become addicted to drugs, and alcohol. You can’t leave the drugs or alcohol alone. It now has control of you!
Your problems never go away. You become increasingly less able to cope with them. Well, sooner or later it all catches up with you. Some lose their mates, their family, and their respect. Some take their own lives. Nothing seems to help.
We let Satan strip us of all the pride and self-respect that we have. We then have nothing! That is, nothing but drugs or alcohol! We find ourselves hopelessly lost and fully dependent on drugs and alcohol!
Then, at the lowest ebb of your life, he wants to send you to hell, where the Bible says you will be tormented day and night forever and ever. See Revelation 20:10 John 10:10
What is that abundant life? It is knowing that you belong to Jesus, and no matter what may come, it will soon pass on, but you will always belong to Him. Sure, problems will come your way. You’ll still have your trials, but when they come you will find that you are not alone. Jesus will be there with you to help you through the trials you may be going through.
Let me tell you one of many things he has done for me. About a month after I had given my life to Jesus, I cried out to Him about my family. June, my wife, really wanted to divorce me, but could not afford to. She had every right to! Look at what I had done to her! I had not only been unfaithful to her, but now I was in prison, and she had to get a job to pay all the bills, feed and clothe our two daughters, with no support from me at all, not even one penny! I asked Jesus to help me save my marriage, and He did! About two weeks later, June wrote me a letter. She told me that she still loved me, and had decided to wait for me.
When I got out of prison, she and our two daughters would be there waiting for me. W.O.W.! This was too good to be true. I was on clouds. God heard my cries and answered my prayers! June and the girls started coming to see me every two weeks. This was too good to be true! Dick and Maxinne Tegarden, great Christian friends of ours, would bring my family to see me. You could set your clock with them. They were “for real” people!
Every time I think of them, I think of that great song, “Love Lifted Me!”
About three months after I had asked Jesus into my heart, Reverend Daulbert, our chaplain at the prison, a great Christian man, had me assigned to the chapel. He let me have access to any and all of his books. He would answer questions for me, and help me look them up. He was a great chaplain!
He would also have me go up to Admission & Orientation (A&O) on Sunday afternoon’s and do church with the new men coming in.
Soon after that I was allowed to go into our lock-up units and have church. I even got to go on death row. You would be surprised at how the men in those lock up units would enjoy Chapel. Many of them were coming every week. A few of them were able to get into a right relationship with God.
Reverend Daulbert was an ordained Baptist minister. He took me through his courses and helped me learn God’s Word. Marvin Beachey, Director of the “Gospel Echoes Team” was also a great help. I had found one of their New Testaments in the Goshen jail.
I contacted them, and they came to see me. They sent me Bibles to give to these men, and hooked me up in their Bible Study Course. They were a great help to my spiritual growth. The “Gospel Echoes Team” goes to prisons all over the United States and Canada. They conduct revivals and seminars. They are a great team!
Chapter 9
I Make Bond
Mother-in-Law Saved
In August of 1980, I was called back to Court. They took back my charge and re-charged me with a lesser charge. Bond was set, and I made bond. After two years and two days, I was free. A new court date was set. I was freed on bond.
June and I got along great. She wouldn’t come to church much then, but she was happy that I was attending. Teri and Viki were happy that I was home, but they weren’t much into this church thing. Teri was 10 at the time, and Viki was 2. Marvin Beachy let me go with the team to share my testimony. I will never forget my first time.
We went to Hutcheson, Kansas. Marvin had told me that there would be a few people. But, there were around 500! To Marvin that was a small crowd. I was shaking all over. To me that was a large crowd. Marvin said to wait until the next night, when there would actually be a large crowd. I wondered what he meant by that.
I shared my testimony that night, and God really blessed me. The next night there were a lot more people. I was scared, but God blessed me and gave me the courage to share. We had a great weekend, sharing and serving hundreds of people. The last night after all was over, I was tired. I went to the motor home and sat down in the seat, and laid my head back and went to sleep.
Suddenly I woke up to the smell of Pizza. I sat up, but something wasn’t right. Barbara Shetler and Carla Yoder, two of the “Gospel Echoes Team” secretaries, had handcuffed me to the back of the seat! They then sat on the other side of the table, and ate that pizza. I mean, they ate the whole thing, and didn’t even give me one bite!
Soon after, Marvin came in with more pizza, took the handcuffs off, and then I got to eat pizza. That was okay. I got them back before we got back to Indiana. We stopped to eat in St. Louis, Missouri. I talked them into letting me try the handcuffs on them. They fell for it. Guess who ate their meal handcuffed to each other. They then walked back to the motor home cuffed together. What a great time we had together. I learned not to go to sleep around those two.
Shortly after I had gotten out on bond, my dear mother-in-law had a bad stroke, which left her right side paralyzed. They placed her in a nursing home. June and I went up to see her. She wanted to come home with us. I told June that the place reminded me of prison. I wanted to take her home. We checked her out, and took her home with us from Chicago, Illinois, to Frankfort, Indiana. She stayed with us until God called her home a few months later.
She and I got really close during those few months. It was almost like she was my mother. She was a wonderful lady. I kept sharing my testimony, as well as working and helping June with her mother. June kept her factory job during those few months.
In April of 1980, we were at a church in our home town. It was a meeting at the 4-H building. People were singing and raising their hands towards God. June was there, and her mother was there. Her mother had been Catholic all of her life. She didn’t quite understand why they were holding their hands up and singing, so she asked June why they were doing it as they sang.
June told her mother that it was because they loved Jesus. Her mother said, “I love Him too!” June told her, “Well, then, hold your hand up!” Her mother took her left hand and held up her right hand towards heaven. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She wanted Jesus to know that she loved Him. One of the sisters in that meeting came to our mother, pushed her forward in her wheel chair, and they prayed with her. I don’t know if our mother was a Christian or not before that time, but I know she was when she left that place!
Four days later I went back to Court for my sentence. The Judge took back the 15 year sentence, and gave me credit for the two years and two days, then re-sentenced me to 10 years. I had to go back to prison for three more years. That was the best that he could do by the law.
When they booked me back into jail that afternoon, all I could think about was our mother. What would happen to her, and how would June manage now? At about 4:00 p.m. that same afternoon, God took our mother home.
I had prayed and asked Him to either heal mom, or send someone to help her care for her mother. God healed mom, I know, for when she got to heaven, she was healed! I was numb when I heard the news. I couldn’t pray, I couldn’t talk. I was just numb!
On the day of mom’s funeral, I was handcuffed, and shackled, and transported from the jail back to the Reception Diagnostic Center (R.D.C.) in Plainfield, Indiana. I thought to myself that I should be with June, but I couldn’t. Instead, in one of her darkest hours I was in a cell where I couldn’t help her at all.
I remember after arriving back to R.D.C. in my cell, I told God, “God, I’m not mad at you, but I don’t understand. Why couldn’t this have been last week?” Then I remembered Thursday night. It was church, mom going up front, praying, and etc. Suddenly a peace came over me, and I knew mom was with Jesus. God was with June during these dark times, and everything was going to be okay.
I began to thank God. I knew everything was alright. He had the whole plan in His hands, and all I could do was praise Him. Satan lost mom, body and soul. He could never bother her again!
A TRIBUTE TO MOM
Written on 03-04-1981 by John Willhelm
It was on a Monday that I went back to jail –
Back to jail to wait – for a lonely prison cell –
Before that day had ended – God took our dear mom home –
She’s gone to be with Jesus – not in a nursing home –
It’s only been four days since she gave her heart to God –
And now they are preparing to lay her beneath the sod –
Mom’s gone on to Heaven – to a land that’s oh so fair –
Running those streets of gold – she don’t need that old wheel chair –
At first I didn’t understand – I couldn’t let her go –
For she and I were very close – I really loved her so –
And now I’m back in prison – yet I can almost see –
From up on high our mother – looking down on me –
Mom’s no longer crippled – she walks the streets of gold –
Bidding me to join her in that land where I’ll never grow old –
And now oh God I thank you – for I know mom’s in your hands –
There on Heaven’s beautiful shores – is where our mother stands –
Chapter 10
Finishing up my Time
I was transported back to Michigan City, Indiana to finish my time.
My own mother had been very sick. She had experienced several mini strokes. I always remember my mom as a Christian, and how she helped others. She was not one to be waited on. September 30, 1981, God took my mother home. Boy Satan was really having a field day with me that day!
I was lost for words. Sgt. Dillman, who was a good Christian, took me back to the funeral. October 2, 1981. I left the prison in shackles to go to my mother’s funeral. We got down the street from the prison. Sgt. Dillman took all shackles off of me, and we headed to Frankfort, Indiana for mom’s funeral. It was a very dark and gloomy day for me. My mom was my friend. I would miss her a lot.
Looking back now, I see how God was with me then. I got to the funeral, no handcuffs, no shackles. I came back to the family dinner and visited with my family. Sgt. Dillman got to speak at her funeral. He knew she and my dad. They were brothers and sisters in Christ.
After I got back to prison, I thought to myself, “What would mom say to us, if she could?” I wrote a poem called, “Today I’ll say Goodbye.” I believe mom spoke that to her children.
TODAY I’LL SAY GOODBYE
Written on 09-30-1981 by John Willhelm
Today I’ll say goodbye – to this world and all it’s cares –
I’m going home to Heaven – I won’t need that old wheel chair –
I’ll be running all over Heaven – on those streets of solid gold –
Having myself a wonderful time – in this land where I’ll never grow old –
Today I’ll say goodbye – to all these earthly fears –
This is what I’ve prayed for – these many, many years –
There’s dad, and mom, and my brothers – I haven’t seen them for many years –
Oh, if only I had known this – I wouldn’t have shed a tear –
Today I’ll say goodbye – to my family here on earth –
And to my precious children – to whom I’ve given birth –
Oh, please don’t be discouraged – or think it all unfair –
For today I’ll be in Heaven – in that land that’s oh so fair –
Today I’ll say goodbye – to all pain and earthly sorrow –
Don’t cry my dear children – I’ll see you all tomorrow –
I’ll be home with Jesus – in that land that’s oh so bright –
And I’ll be waiting for you – in that land of no more nights –
After mom’s funeral, I got settled back in, if you want to call it that. Shortly after her death, Sgt. Dillman’s wife started writing to me. She would also come and visit me. She was, and still is a real saint. She would preach to me, and write scriptures. She was a true encouragement to me in many ways. Sgt. Dillman tried to help me. He got me out on a 12 hour pass one time, took me to his church, and there I was allowed to share my testimony. June came up for that, and brought the girls with her. We had a really wonderful time.
They treated me like family. They were a great help in my spiritual growth. Then I met another family from Ohio, Rick and Sandy Wellman. They would also come to visit, and wrote me quite often. We still call each other once in a while. I shall never forget their faithfulness to me. Then I really needed all the help I could get, for Satan was really kicking me around.
I felt like he was having quite a field day with me. One day while reading my Bible, I came across Isaiah 14:12-20
In Revelation 20:1-10
I won’t have to go through that. I will be in heaven with Jesus, where I will live in peace, joy, and happiness, forever and ever. Satan knows this. He knows I get to go to Heaven, and he cannot go there, so he’s doing what he can to make my life as miserable as he can.
At that point I said, “Bring it on devil, you can cause me heartaches and sorrow. You can even make me cry, but you cannot take me from Jesus! I wrote another poem, entitled, “Say There Mr. Devil”, that would encourage me when I would get down. I can still read that poem and get a lift from it. He can have his field day with us today, but tomorrow’s almost here. Then who will be having their day?
SAY THERE MR. DEVIL
Written on 10-05-1982 by John Willhelm
Say there Mr. Devil – you look so bad today –
I plead the blood of Jesus – now what do you say? –
I know you must be worried – for you know God will win –
Soon you will be stripped – you’ll be an old “has been” –
Say there Mr. Devil – you think you are so smart –
You’re fighting a losing battle – You’ve known it from the start –
You’ve caused me lots of heartache – you even made me cry –
But you can’t take me from Jesus – no matter how you try –
Say there Mr. Devil – you think you’ve got me down –
I’m God’s special child you know – I’m holding to my crown –
Today you have your field day – tomorrow will be my turn –
Tomorrow I’ll be in Heaven – Tomorrow you will burn –
Say there Mr. Devil – I know how you must worry –
You seem so very nervous – you’re always in a hurry –
Time is very short now – for the return of our God –
Then the world will know Mr. Devil – that you are just a fraud –
Sometimes when I would cry, he would lift me up and bless me. I would get happy and the tears would turn into joy. I was locked up in prison, but in my spirit I had more freedom than a lot of people in the free world. I had a peace in my heart that was beyond human comprehension.
When Jesus sets you free, you are indeed free. Don’t let anyone kid you, you are free! (John 8:36) “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” I knew in my heart that Jesus had set me free, and that I would not be enslaved by Satan again. Thank God for that peace which the world cannot understand. Only God can give that kind of peace.
(Philippians 4:7) “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
JESUS SETS THE PRISONER FREE
Written on 03-15-1979 by John Willhelm
Verse 1
Jesus takes me from this place – dried the tears from my face –
Gave me peace and joy within – when He washed away my sins –
And I know that He loves me – for He really lets me know –
Though in prison I have been – Jesus set this prisoner free –
Chorus 1
Now I don’t care what others say – I just live from day to day –
For I know I’m in His hands – And He’ll lead me to that land –
Jesus gave me peace within – when He washed away my sins –
Though in prison I have been – Jesus set this prisoner free –
Verse 2
Won’t you let Jesus come in? – Let Him cleanse your heart from sin –
He will be your Savior too – if you’ll only let Him through –
Then you’ll know what freedom is – and you’ll know that you are His –
For He’s just a prayer away – won’t you talk to Him today –
Chorus 2
Now you won’t care what others say – you’ll just live from day to day –
For you’ll know you’re in His hands – and He’ll lead you to that land –
Jesus gives you peace within – when He washes away your sins –
Though in prison you may be – JESUS SETS THE PRISONER FREE –
Another lady whose son had been in prison with me, would come to see me quite often. She was the one who shared my song with “The His Tones”.
Many wonderful Christians would come to visit me and encourage me, as well as share scripture with me. God was really blessing me with so many great friends. They were very faithful to me in all of my ways. They helped me to learn what God had in store for me, since I was now His. They tried to help me understand what I might go through in the outside world when my release would come, and I would be free.
Chapter 11
Free from Prison
Two months before my release date I was transferred to “pre-release”. Just before that time I was allowed a three-day pass. This was done to help me learn to cope, once I was in the free world again.
Becky’s mom came to the prison on Sunday morning, and got me checked out. She then took me to their church where I spoke that morning. We then came on to my home town, where “The His Tones” sang, and I spoke in the evening service.
I then got to be home with my family Sunday night, Monday and Tuesday. I then went back to prison on Wednesday morning. She stayed with the family from the church, so June and I could have time together with our daughters.
April 14, 1981, was the day I had been waiting for, for two years, three hundred and sixty three days! My time was up! Right after breakfast, one of the guards took me to the bus depot, where I met Becky and her mom.
They took me to a restaurant where I could eat some real food, and then on to their home in order to wait on June and my brother, David. They arrived around 9 a.m. We visited for a couple of hours, and then we headed home, to where our daughters were eagerly waiting for our return. Now we could be a family once more.
I was so happy to be home and free. I couldn’t wait to get a job so that June could quit hers, and I could assume my role as husband and dad. But that didn’t happen. I couldn’t get a job. Nobody would hire me. I ended up working in the cemetery, cutting grass, planting flowers, and burying the dead. It paid $5.00 per hour, plus overtime, if we had a funeral on a Saturday or Sunday.
I would do odd jobs on the side in order to help make ends meet. It helped a lot, but for two years after I had been released, June had to work. Then June got sick. She had asthma. We made several trips to the hospital, and soon after, she had to quit her job.
I kept working where I could, and thanked Jesus for His blessing to me. When I wasn’t working, I would go to my friends and tell them what Jesus had done for me. A lot of them had seen the change in me, and some of them came to church with me. Some of them would turn their life over to Jesus. Every week I was bringing someone else to church. I was having a great time convincing my friends that Jesus was the answer.
One Sunday morning the pastor told me that he needed to see me after church. I was excited about what he wanted to see me about. When the services were over, I went back to meet with our pastor.
What he had to say really knocked me off of my ladder. Several saints were quite upset with what I was doing. He told me that they had prayed for me to get saved for several years, but that they had not meant for me to get “this much saved”!
I asked him what he meant by “this much saved”. He told me that it seemed like I was trying to win my whole town to Jesus. I asked him what was wrong with that. He said that even Jesus was “without honor in his home town”. I assured him that I wasn’t Jesus, which, of course he already knew. He then advised me to slow down. He said I was getting ahead of God.
He said that I needed to crawl around with a very low profile for several years before the saints could forgive me, and learn to accept me. He suggested that maybe I should look for another church. I agreed, and went to another church that very next Sunday.
The pastor of that church had called my house repeatedly by the time I got home. My wife told me that he had called five times, and that I really needed to call him. I knew in my heart that he had been happy that I had come to his church, and had wanted to invite me back. However, for some reason things went wrong. He told me that several of his “die hard saints” were really upset at my presence!
He told me they had just remodeled their church, and asked me if I could please pick another church, since at least twenty “die hard saints” said that if I started to come, they would quit.
The church was in debt about $800,000.00, and these “die hard saints” were also very good tithers.
I didn’t see Jesus in this at first, and my heart started showing it. I was really “down”, so I started looking for yet another church. Soon I found one, and they welcomed me, but as their church grew, more and more I was left out of the picture.
The Lord, in His great patience, was still at work. He gave me a friend who built a model prison cell for me. The result of this was that I could now go to churches all over and share my testimony.
When I wasn’t on the road with this little prison cell, I was at my new church. This prison cell is an exact replica of the prison cell I spent five years of my life in. It was 5x7 feet, and looked just like the real cell at the prison.
After about five years, our pastor left to go south. A new pastor came about six months later, so we all took our turns filling in when and where needed. We were really happy to have a pastor again. He was different, but I believe that he was sincere.
Within a month, I was called in to a board meeting, and the new pastor informed me that I could stay a member, but in name only. Along with that, I would not be allowed to sing in the church anymore. He wanted the prison cell turned over to the church. I wasn’t to go out and share my testimony in other churches any more. Further, I was not to associate with the youth of our church, until he felt clear about it. He didn’t know me, and he didn’t feel he should take the former pastor’s word. He needed me to prove myself to him. He didn’t want the youth being around a druggie.
I assured him that I was no longer a druggie, and that I had been free from that for over fifteen years. I read John 8:36
One thing I could never understand was how others could know that someone who had been on drugs, an alcoholic, or any sin for that matter, had actually come to Jesus. I finally realized that they also need to see that Jesus alone can set a prisoner free. They needed the Lord to show them that!
Chapter 12
Personal Assurance
For your Encouragement
When that person comes to Jesus, he is transformed. (2 Corinthians 5:17) “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” He is translated from one kingdom to another. “Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:” (Colossians 1:13)
When people come to Jesus, they put drugs, alcohol, or whatever enslaved them, down! They not only become believers, but true followers and disciples of Jesus. Why, then, do we want to haul them off to Alcoholic’s Anonymous, or Narcotics Anonymous, or some other kind of counseling program, in order to get them to say, “Hi, I’m so and so. I’m an alcoholic, or I am a drug addict”, or whatever.
Didn’t we ask Jesus to take that away from us? Didn’t He say He would? I read John 8:36
Your past is just that. The past! Leave it in God’s hands, and believe what He says in Psalm 103:12: “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.” I would say that is pretty plain, isn’t it.
I wonder why God didn’t say “as far as the north is from the south”? I thought about it. There are north and south poles. If you go straight north, you will get to the north pole. If you continue, you start going south. But there is no ending when you go east or west. You can go towards the east forever, and never run out! You can go west forever, and never run out! There is an end to the north, and there is an end to the south. God’s forgiveness is never ending!
When people and churches hold your past up in your face, don’t accept their word for it. Take this as an invitation to get even closer to Jesus. He’ll get closer to you and help you as you read your Bible. Ask the Lord for advice, and get others to help you pray about it. Pray that the Holy Spirit will open their eyes to the difference Jesus made in your life! (John 17:19)
After all, God didn’t change his mind, did He? Your sins are gone! Remember that Jesus said to pray for enemies. (Matthew 5:44). Another idea is to ask the Lord for a friend who can verify your experience and testimony, like Barnabas did for Paul. (Acts 9:26-27) After this, if they still reject you, it may be time to start looking for a new place of worship.
When a truly born-again Christian says they are still an alcoholic, or drug addict, they are limiting God. They seem to be saying that God cannot really set them free from “that”! Did He? You bet He did!
Too many people think that they have to help God out. God just can’t do it if they don’t help Him out. I mean, “What would God do without my help?”
I told my wife that I was “down” because of this unforgiving spirit I had. I told my wife, “I’m not a football, and I refuse to be kicked around any more!”
Unfortunately, for the next few months, I would go whenever, and wherever I felt like going. I didn’t associate with church people much, but I did continue to tell my friends about Jesus.
I wasn’t mad at God, I just didn’t want to be around Christians! In my book they weren’t really Christians, they were hypocrites! But God was about to show me something!
One day, when I went into the store to buy something. I saw some of these “so-called” Christians there! As I was driving home I began to think of how wrong I had been. I had quit going to church because of the hypocrites. That meant that I should quit shopping where they shopped, because they shopped there, too. I should quit eating out, because they ate out, too. No matter where they would go, I would see them. No matter where I would go, they would be there.
I had to laugh at myself. My own “self-will” had kept me from enjoying God’s food that He had for me! That didn’t make any sense, so I determined in my heart, “God, you know me, and they don’t. You know my thoughts, and they don’t!”
I continued my prayer, “So, who cares what they think! That’s it – they are just ‘thinking’, but You are the one that really knows!”
I finally knew that I had victory when an Evangelist introduced me to a crowd one day like this, “John was an alcoholic, John was a drug addict, and a lot of other things. Now, when I think of John, I think of Mark 5
As I ministered to them I could tell them, like Joseph told his brothers, “. . . ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” (Genesis 50:20)
As John Starnes wrote, “When he was on the cross, I was on his mind.”
Or, as Bill Gaither wrote several years ago, “He gave me something worth living for . . . something more than my yesterdays!”
After this I got a phone call from a friend of ours in Madison, Wisconsin. Her name was Marge Erickson. She and her family had been very close to June and I for several years. They had known me before I was a Christian, and had stayed friends with me through it all.
Spence Erickson played the harmonica. He played it very well. He and his sons, Randy and Rocky, were also professional in their playing of the harmonica. I would help them get bookings. They would come and stay at our place in Chicago and Florida when we lived there. We went with them to churches, helped them set up, and enjoyed their playing.
Marge was like a sister to me. She could read me like a book. I couldn’t tell her everything was okay if it really wasn’t! She somehow knew. She would sit me down and make me talk. Marge Erickson was a true saint if ever there was one. She was in tune with God! When I told her what was going on, she laughed and laughed, until I started laughing too! We had a real time with that!
In January of 2,000, God called Marge home. I spoke at her funeral, it was a large funeral, to say the least! While speaking at her funeral, I felt a real peace come over me. I knew where she was! I could rejoice over her transfer from earth to heaven. The procession going to the cemetery was about two miles long. She was a well-loved lady of God. Her daughter, Traci, was my buddy when she was a teenager. Now she has grown children of her own. She is just like her mother.
If you would walk by Traci in a store, and not know her in an ordinary way, somehow you would know that she was a lady of God. My heart went out to Spence. His children are Rocky, Randy, Traci and Mike. We all knew in our hearts that their mother was much better off. She is with Jesus, and Satan cannot bother her anymore. She is completely healed! No more heart trouble! She is healed!
Chapter 13
A Precious Family
Great Friends
My sister Ruth has a handicap. She had a high fever when she was around two or three years of age. Dad and mom took her to every doctor they could in order to try to find help for her.
Many of their friends gave advice to put her in an institution. That was out of the question. Ruth would stay with us! Some Christians said she was possessed with a demon. How can a two-year-old be possessed? No way!
Ruth would often come into the house crying when other children would make fun of her. Sometimes parents wouldn’t even allow their children to play with her.
They would pretend to have convulsions, or call her names that would cut to her heart! Ruth would come in to dad, crying. He would tell her about how Jesus would make her perfect when she would get to heaven. When Ruth would come like that, she would ask him to tell her about how Jesus would make her perfect when she would get to heaven.
Dad would sit her on his lap, and tell her about Jesus and heaven. He would tell how her wings would sail through heaven when she would get there. This would make her happy. Her happiness would continue as she went outside to play again, even though it would often be by herself.
Ruth was, and is still a blessing to us! We are indeed honored to be a part of her life. Everybody that knows her, loves her!
I wrote a song called, “Will I be a cripple there?” Spence Erickson took my singing and played the background with the harmonica. He really laid that song out. Everybody loves it. It is really a beautiful song!
Ruth loves to visit the sick and elderly. She takes Sunday school papers and other good reading material to them. They all love her, and look forward to her visits each week. Now she can’t walk very well. She has to use a walker. She still loves to spread joy to all she meets. Ruth is God’s blessing to us. We love her dearly. We wouldn’t trade her for anything in this world.
Let me share the song I wrote for her. See how the words describe her feelings, and what God will do someday for all the people who are crippled or handicapped.
WILL I BE A CRIPPLE THERE?
Written in 1986 by John Willhelm
Verse 1
A little girl came to her dad and sat down by his side, –
Others had refused to play, the tears ran from her eyes –
When I get up to heaven, and Jesus looks at me –
Will I still be crippled – when I get over there –
Chorus 1
Will I be crippled there, – in heaven oh so fair –
Will I be crippled there, – when in heaven I arrive –
Will my wings sail through heaven – like all the others there –
Will I be a cripple – when I get over there –
Verse 2
Daddy took his little girl, – and sat her on his lap –
He brushed the tears from her eyes – then to her he said –
You’ll laugh and play in heaven – like all the others there –
No one will be crippled – when they get over there –
Chorus 2
There’ll be no cripples there – in heaven oh so fair –
We’ll all be perfect there – when to heaven we arrive –
Our wings will sail through heaven – like all the others there –
No one will be crippled – when they get over there –
TAG
No special Olympics – no wheel chairs over there –
No special teachers – no teasing so unfair –
Our wings will sail through heaven – like all the others there –
No one will be crippled – when they get over there –
No one will be crippled – when they get over there –
Vera May works with children in her church. Vera May has the patience of a Job. I don’t know how she does it, but she loves kids, and does a super job working with them. Mike, her son, is a great person. He is trying to get on to the police department. I think he would be a great policeman. Maybe he will make it some day. Then, there is John, her other son. I think he has a great name. I taught John how to drive truck. Today he is an owner-operator, and a very good truck driver.
John and his wife and their two daughters live across the street from us. We are more like father and son, rather than uncle and nephew. We have had many good times together, and many good memories!
Then there is my sister Margaret who has three children, Mary, Jim and Tim. Jim is a minister in a Baptist Church in Boise, Idaho. He has really done well. I am very proud of him.
Tim works here in Frankfort. He loves people, and is very tenderhearted. He likes to work with older people, and people who are handicapped. He has great talent in that field, and people love him.
Mary, well, she is more than just a niece to me. She is like my daughter. I love it when she calls me “dad”. When she writes to me it is always, “uncle dad”. She lives in California. She has two daughters, Tiffany and Kimberly.
I stopped to see her one time. Her daughters were excited to see me. They made a play house out of my truck. They called me “uncle grandpa”.
Mary and I have had many long talks. One time I met her in Chicago. We went for a ride in my truck. We saw some geese and drove around the block to see them again. We threw some bananas out to them. Boy did they flock around us then!
We have had some great times together. I am really very proud of my Mary. She has an unshakeable faith in God that often puts me to shame. I thank God for my family. Where would I be without them?
Then my own daughters, Teri and Viki – they are my buddies. Teri has four children, Chelsea, Bekka, Courtney and Brian. Viki has two children, Cameron and Jordon. We are all pals.
We like to get together and do things, such as eating pizza for breakfast, (that is really good), or corn cakes, cottage cheese and tomatoes. Or, maybe a peanut butter, bologna, tomato and potato chip sandwich (really good). We have many good times together. We are family!
My wife, June and I, have a great time together. We enjoy our grandchildren, and we enjoy each other. Sometimes we sneak off, just her and I, and we go shopping, eat out, and hide out all day. Nobody knows where we are – just the two of us. We have great times together. June and I attend the Walnut Street Baptist Church in Lebanon, Indiana.
Our pastor and all the people there are really great! They love us, and we really love them. We are one big happy family. I have found a great church.
Pastor Lowell Spaulding, and his wife Phillis go back a long way. I first met Lowell when he and I were driving bakery truck together years ago. We each had different routes, but would get back to the yard at about the same time.
At that time I was a chain smoker. I would “smoke you out”. One or two would be burning in the ash tray, and I would light up yet another.
Lowell would meet me at the door, take my cigarettes from me, and not let me have them back until I was ready to leave.
We became close friends through the years. I watched him closely, and always said that he was a real Christian. I said, “If I ever became a Christian, I would be ‘for real’ like Lowell and Phillis.”
I never dreamed that some day Lowell would be my pastor, and that I would live day after day without smoking, drinking or sinning.
I am not perfect yet. God is still working on me. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life! Jesus found me where I was, picked me up, washed me in His blood, and placed me in the direction I am going – headed toward Heaven. I don’t understand why I ran from God so long. Living for Jesus is really a great life. I mean, really great!
When I go to sleep at night, I sleep like a brand new baby. When I wake up in the morning, I remember what I did the night before. Iced tea is much better than alcohol any day, and a person feels much better! Reading my Bible, understanding who I am, what I am, and where I really deserve to be, outside of the shed blood of Jesus, I am so glad to be free!
I don’t have to go to hell. My debt has been paid. I get to go to Heaven because of God’s mercy, not His justice! Justice would put me in hell right now! Mercy! God’s mercy! Now that calms me down more than any cigarette ever did! No drug has made me feel better than knowing I am forgiven, and going to Heaven.
That, my friends, is truly a great feeling. If you haven’t experienced it yet, you need to have a talk with Jesus. Let Him take what’s wrong and make it right! I’m sure you can see what Satan was doing to me, and how I kept running from God.
My life was empty, and all hope seemed gone. No one, not even my family, would have ever dreamed that I would be a happy man some day, living for Jesus.
Several pastors thought they would have had my funeral long before now.
I was not a well-liked person. I was one you would not let your children hang around with. Police and society would have gladly locked me up somewhere and forgotten about me. Today they are my friends. Some of them have even come to my house to visit, and to eat with my family and I.
My grandchildren and I are buddies. They love me, and I really love them, one and all. My daughters love me, and I love them. My wife, June, loves me, and I truly love her.
We are best of friends. I have many, many friends who love me. They tell me so. I love them, and I tell them so.
Satan wanted me dead and in hell. He made my life a shambles. God wants me alive, so I can tell my friends about Him, and help them get on the right track.
Jesus went to the Father’s house to build me a mansion. Meanwhile down here on earth, Jesus has helped me to get my life in order. He has given me many friends, and restored love in my wife’s heart for me. He spared me from death and hell, and gave me something worth living for.
I would be a fool to not want to live for Him. Don’t you see how great it is living for Him? If you haven’t made that commitment to Him yet, I urge you to do so now.
Chapter 14
A Special Word
Just for You
Some of you may know you are sinners and heading for hell. Some of you may be good people who do not lie, do not cheat, or do any other wrong, yet you have never asked Jesus into your heart. You are headed for the same hell I was headed for at one time.
This is not what John Willhelm says, this is what Jesus says in John 3:3 John 14:6
That’s pretty plain and simple. Not by works, or deeds, only through Jesus.
So, no matter who you are! No matter what you are! No matter what you have done! Jesus loves you and wants to be a part of your life. You don’t have to name your sins off. God already knows. Just ask Him to forgive you of your sins, and come into your heart. He will forgive.
If you don’t know what to say, just repeat these words, and mean them in your heart: “Jesus! I know I am a sinner headed for hell. Would you please come into my heart. Forgive me for my sins. Cleanse me and make me your own. I do love you Jesus. I know that you died for me, and paid my debt. I repent of my sinful ways. I’m asking you to move into my heart and help me to live for you from here on out, for the rest of my life. Thank you Jesus. I love you Jesus. I’ll tell my friends about you, Jesus.”
Friend, if you said that prayer, and meant it in your heart, Jesus has forgiven you, and you are now a child of God. Don’t forget to tell your friends about Jesus, and what He has done for you. They need to know, and they need to hear it from you. They will listen to you, because you are their friend.
“Dear Jesus, I thank you for life. I thank you for my lovely wife, June, and for our daughters Teri and Viki. For Chelsea, Bekka, Courtney, Brian, Cameron and Jordon. What a wonderful family I have. I know I don’t deserve this. I know it’s just an extra gift from you to me. I especially thank you Jesus for my freedom – freedom from drugs and alcohol.
“What a great feeling it is to know I have been redeemed. My debt has been paid. To know I am free, and I get to go to Heaven, is life at its fullest. To hear people say, ‘I love you, John’, means a lot to me. For all this I thank you. I praise you, and I’ll tell all I can about you and Your great love.”
Just John
A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO JUNE
Before going on I would like to insert a special thank you to my wife, June, for standing by me when it wasn’t very easy to do. Somehow she managed to keep her cool, and love me in spite of everything I had done. Since I have turned my life over to Jesus Christ, she has really stood beside me all of the way. She attends church with me, and goes with me when I am called out to speak or share my testimony. If I get to dragging my feet, she always gets me spiritually uplifted.
I don’t know what I would do without her, along with her love and support. She is indeed a very beautiful lady, and wonderful. I enjoy her company. We are the best of friends. I cannot thank God enough for allowing June to be a part of my life.
And then, there is my daughter Teri, who is a great supporter of mine. She always lets me know that she loves me. Teri and her husband have given June and I four very lovely grandchildren. Chelsea, Bekka, Courtney and Brian are a delight to our lives. June and I love them dearly, and treasure every minute we have with them. Our youngest daughter, Viki, is a very sweet, wonderful daughter. She and her husband have given June and I two wonderful grandsons. Cameron and Jordon are a delight in our lives as well. We enjoy our time with them.
Then my sisters have also really stood by me and prayed for me throughout these many years.
I would also like to thank Reverend Paul Wilson for helping me edit this book. He has, I know, put many long hours into correcting my spelling and putting words in the right places. Without him this would have been impossible.
Also, special thanks is due to Pastor Lowell and Phillis Spaulding. They have helped June and I to grow in the Lord. They are wonderful people, to say the least. To me, Lowell is the greatest pastor, (teacher), that I have ever sat under. He stays in God’s Word. He helps us to understand God’s Word, and we appreciate that.
We have a wonderful church family. If you are ever in Lebanon, Indiana on a Sunday, you should stop and see us. You won’t want to leave, I know!
On February 2, 2008, my wife, June, was driving home from our daughter’s house. On her way home, a semi truck pulled out of a parking lot, and hit her. Our van was a total loss. Thank God she wasn’t really hurt. She was hit on the passenger side.
They x-rayed her. There were no broken bones, but they did find a spot on her lungs. Uncertain of what it was, they did a few more tests, and found out that it was cancer. By the time we could get the results, the cancer had moved to her liver, lungs and colon, Stage 4. June’s birthday was July 3rd. They removed about fourteen inches of her colon on July 7, 2008.
From then on, June’s condition worsened considerably. She was given two years, at the most. She started chemotherapy once a week, but it was all to no avail. She lost weight rapidly, and suffered greatly. Sometime after her surgery when I awoke, June told me she was sorry about being crabby to me. I told her I understood, and that it was okay. She also told me that she hadn’t been able to sleep very well the night before.
At about 4:00 in the morning, she went out in the front, and sat in the swing. She and Jesus had a talk, and everything was okay between her and God. June was as sweet as she could be after that. I’m sure she was a born again Christian before that time, but I was even more certain after that.
I had put together a gospel sing at the First Wesleyan Church in Frankfort, Indiana on Saturday night, November 15, 2008. Reverend Paul Wilson, a former Frankfort boy, and a great piano player, was coming back home to share Jesus and his musical talents with us. What a great time we were going to have.
The early morning of Saturday, November 15, 2008, around 3:30 in the morning, I heard June fall. I jumped out of bed, and there she was, down on the floor in the hall. I called my friend, Ray, on the phone. He was right here in about two minutes. He lives right next door.
We were able to get June up into a chair. She had hurt her lip. June said that she thought I should put her into a nursing home. I told her, “No way! I’ll take care of you as long as I live!” She seemed okay all day long. She knew who we all were, and what was going on. My sister, Margaret, was visiting us from out west, Portland, Oregon. Margaret is a nurse’s assistant, and has been for several years. Margaret was a great help to me that day.
That evening we went to see and hear our dear friend and brother, Reverend Paul Wilson. During the concert, they came and got me. They said that June was failing fast. I left the church and came home. When I came in, I looked at June, and knew that we needed to get her right to the hospital. I called for an ambulance, and they arrived in about six minutes. After they had worked on June, they lifted her up on the gurney. She looked at me and said that she wouldn’t be back. She wanted to go home. Being selfish, I wasn’t ready to accept this, yet I knew I had to let her go.
At the hospital emergency room, she was with us, and then not. However, after a while they took her upstairs to a room, and she seemed to be fine. At around 2:30 in the morning, I came home.
I woke up at about 8:00 in the morning, and phoned the hospital to check on her. They transferred my call to the room, and we talked. June seemed to be much better. After I hung up, I got dressed and went to church. Paul Wilson was singing and speaking. The service was great. Everybody enjoyed him. After church that morning, everybody came around me and we all prayed for June.
When I arrived at the hospital, I came into June’s room. She was sitting up and alert. The room was full of visitors. There were around twelve people there. Her two sisters that lived north of Chicago had also come to see her. June visited all afternoon with her family and friends. People just kept on coming! Three or four would leave, and then three or four would come in. June was having a great time visiting her family and friends. At about 10:30 Sunday night, June fell asleep, and I went home and fell asleep on the couch. I was sure she would be coming home the next day.
At 3:30 in the morning, Teri, our oldest daughter called. The hospital had called her, and June was dying. She wanted us to be with her. I beat it to the hospital. It didn’t seem like June knew we were there.
Shortly after I arrived, Teri got there, and then Viki, our youngest daughter. Soon our foster daughter, Brandi, also arrived. Brandi came into our home when she was about ten years old. As far as we are concerned, Brandi is our daughter.
We stayed with June all day. That night I slept beside her in a chair. Viki, Teri and Brandi slept in chairs on the other side, and at her feet. June didn’t respond much during the day on Monday. Twice during the day she looked up at the ceiling, smiled, and pointed her finger at what she saw.
She didn’t say anything, but her smile told us that she was at peace with whatever she had seen.
Tuesday morning, November 18, 2008, at about 9:00 in the morning, the nurse came into her room, checked her over, and informed us it wouldn’t be long. She was shutting down.
I started rubbing June’s feet at about 9:30. June opened her eyes, looked up at the ceiling and smiled. Her breathing was in gasps by now. She would take a big breath and hold it for several seconds, then she would exhale. Her breathing slowed down to almost nothing, then at 9:35 she took her last breath.
June Willhelm was escorted by angels to Jesus. I know she heard the words, “Well done thou good and faithful servant!” June is in heaven.
Many wonderful Christian people have been a great support to me. They love me and pray for me. I love them and pray for them. We serve an awesome God. I pray that this book will help you understand that you are not so bad that God won’t hear your prayer. Ask Him, and you will see!
No matter who you are; no matter what you are; no matter what you have done; Jesus loves you!
If you would like to write me, or want me to come to your church and share, you may contact me.
John W. Willhelm
119 Blackberry Circle,
Frankfort, IN 46041
Home: 765-296-2184
Cell: 765-242-1668
God bless you and your loved ones, and keep you in His care.
Just John
A letter of tribute
to my dad and mom
Dear Dad and Mom,
I love you both very much. I miss you, and plan to see you both in heaven.
I want to thank you both for the life you lived in my childhood. You took me to church every week. You had family altar every night. I am thankful to you for these things.
I remember coming home from school, and telling you about Santa Claus. You took the time to tell me about the baby Jesus, and that did not ruin Christmas for me. In fact, it made it more meaningful.
I remember a few months later that I came home to tell you about this big rabbit coming to lay eggs around the school, and there would be candy in the eggs.
You took the time to tell me about the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. I still loved Easter, because I knew its true meaning.
Although I strayed from God for several years, I never really forgot! God somehow managed to remind me of my early childhood teachings. I remembered church, praying before meals, and family prayer. Everyday I was reminded of where I had come from.
I strayed for several years, but I never got away from your teachings.
Thank you both for staying faithful to God. Even in your dark times, you stayed faithful. Today I am on my way to heaven because of your faithfulness to God. You truly were awesome parents, serving an Awesome God! Today, because of your love for God, your prayers, and your faithfulness to Him, and to your family, I am on my way to heaven.
I thank God every day for His mercy, instead of His justice. Justice would have put me in hell, but God’s mercy has forgiven me, saved me from hell, and headed me towards heaven.
I love you both very much, and I plan to see you in heaven when God calls me home.
Your son, Just John
